Not Broken – Just a Little Bent!

 ‎”When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress. We cannot take more than one step at a time.” – Orison Swett Mardon

It has been on mind lots lately, have you seen the commercial where they show dogs and say that shelter dogs are not broken?  It gets me thinking that there are so many people out there who think them or someone they know are broken.  Some think they are broken because of their health, others because of their heart.  There are broken marriages, families and broken homes.  Some of us are just plain broke.  I’m here to say, even if you feel like you’re in the pound, YOU AREN’T BROKEN, you just need a tune up!

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Mirror Mirror . . .

Mirror, mirror on the wall, Who’s the most beautiful of them all?

Why me, I have to say – As I stand here proudly before you today!

My face is rounded and slightly skewed, But it makes me – me, What is one to do?

My skin is not as soft as a baby’s bottom, With brown spots and wrinkles, yeah I got them.

The wind and the sun has added their touch, To show that I have lived and loved so much.

My hair is dry with a little grey, but who likes having greasy hair anyway?

I don’t dwell for hours on how it should be, I flip it upside down to dry – how it ends up I’ll see.

My bikini days are long over, too many stretch marks and scars to count. But putting on a bathing suit doesn’t make me pout.

Bathing suits are for swimming and keeping cool, Who cares about fashion when being lazy at the pool?

Frankly Mirror, I don’t care what you think, Life’s too short and could end in a blink.

When I was younger, I judged myself by the people in the magazines and movies, But they’re just pretend and this kind of thinking doesn’t behoove me!

They’ve gone under the knife, airbrushed and thinned out, And what’s with that fish mouth pout?

If I want to look like those at the top, I’ll just smile, for I too have Photoshop!!!

So Magic Mirror, I look and see, A forty-three year old woman staring back at me.

Change nothing about me, this I implore, For I have a great life with blessings galore

Go find another and spread the word, Tell them they’re beautiful, the truth will be heard

For loving yourself and being you,  makes life wonderful and happy too!!!

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Letter to me – Part 2

Dear Me,

It is June 29, 2010, and I am writing to you twenty years in the future.  I hope you have lived out all of your dreams.  You are now 63 years old.  I hope you are happily married and living with your best friend.  I hope he loves to travel as much as you do and loves many of the things you love.  I also hope he gives you the space to be yourself.  He will be your partner, not your caregiver.  He will be your equal and you his.  I know you will still have no regrets about your life.  

Some of the things that are on my bucket list that I hope you have checked off:

  • A return trip to Australia and a visit to New Zealand.
  • A cruise in Alaska on Cruise West.
  • Travel around Europe with camera in hand.
  • Visit many of the unique places in the United States that I haven’t seen yet.
  • Take Chloe to Washington DC when she is old enough to understand what a great nation we live in.
  • Always chose to be happy and never quit striving for everything.
  • Be happy and successful in whatever career I end up in.

There are many goals in my life that I hope you achieve.  I know that you will do your best to stay positive and not worry about which fork in the road to take when those obstacles are presented.

Love,

Me

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Letter to Me Part 1

Dear Me,

It is twenty years in the future and I am writing to share some words of wisdom with you.  First and foremost, I have no regrets about the big events in my life.  Trevor will be born soon, he comes earlier than planned.  You don’t know anything about autism yet, but you will.  I just wish you would get the answers that you were searching for much earlier.  Danny is a great kid and he is working hard to find his way in the world.  I hate that it has been hard being a dad at eighteen, but he is so in love with Chloe and so am I.  I even learned lots from both of my divorces and all the experiences good and bad have made me who I am today.  I like that person!

There are a few things I wish you would have done differently, but I don’t dwell on them.  First and foremost, I want to tell you not to judge your worth on what you perceive others think of you.  In the end, we only have to worry about what ourselves and God thinks of us.  You spend a lot of time thinking you’re not smart enough or good enough for those who you were around.  You let people feed on your insecurities and make you feel like you were even less.  Don’t worry though, when push comes to shove, you got it figured out once the poison was removed from your life.  You get nervous about going to college while raising two kids as a single mom, but it works out well.  One piece of advice, you shouldn’t talk yourself out of majoring in Occupational Therapy and go into education.  You wanted to make a difference in kids’ life, but teaching is not the way for you.  You were naïve then and didn’t realize it would be more than teaching kids.  I do have to say that going to grad school and finishing even though you weren’t going to teach anymore was a good decision.  Future employers don’t really care what the degree is, they are just impressed that I have it.  Thumbs up!!!

You are going to have health issues in the future, but you can handle them with more grace.  You don’t need to feel sorry for yourself, but thank God that you didn’t have something more devastating.  It’s not all about you and nobody wants to hear about how you are, even if they ask.  Keep a positive attitude and make it through as many days as possible.  Don’t let even one day get away from you.

Now, the most important things you need to change!  Girl, stay away from the perms and bleach that you used.  There are a few nightmares coming your way if you don’t take this advice.  Also, McDonalds isn’t one of the four food groups.  Try not to eat as much processed food, fresh veggies are really good.  You’re missing out on some good stuff.

Finally, I want to say that you end up making a difference in lots of people’s lives.  You are proud of yourself and your accomplishments.  Live life to the fullest and love deeply and never give up hope that you will find the “right” person to spend your life with!

Love,

Me

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I’m Chicken Fried!!!

I am subbing in reading class this week and we are reading a book about a boy who was severely abused.  It was kind of a bummer and I wasn’t feeling very well.  I was sipping on Ginger Ale and dealing with dizzy spells off and on.  I never let the girls see that I wasn’t feeling well, but kept a smile on my face and encouraged them to do their best.  My last period, I told the class that one of the girls at school gets annoyed with me because I’m always happy.  How sad that several girls said they didn’t want to offend me, but it is true.  I’m always happy and sometimes it gets annoying.  I explained to them that being happy is a choice, and that I choose to be happy because I have been extremely unhappy in my life before, and I refuse to let another day be wasted being miserable.  That’s not to say that I don’t have bad days or bad minutes, I do!

I have shared with many of the girls that I take anti depressants, but they don’t know that I have a chronic disease caused by a brain tumor that messes up all my hormones and makes me look and feel bad about myself.  They don’t know that I am on my second brain tumor and this time it can’t be taken out.  They don’t know that I am taking a medication that makes me sick to try and prevent a very invasive surgery that has the potential to keep me disabled for the rest of my life.  They don’t know that I am going into my 7th month of physical therapy, not because of my shoulder surgery, but because I have been in almost constant pain for years now.  They don’t understand that I miss my kids and granddaughter and all my friends.  And they don’t need to know any of that because they have their own crap to deal with.  We all have crap to deal with, so let’s just get it dealt with, let’s not dwell on what we can’t do, and let’s concentrate on what we can.

I was driving home from work today listening to my phone messages and dealing with the problems left on my voice mail and text messages.   The song Chicken Fried by Zac Brown Band came on and I started mindlessly singing along.  Then I remembered the words and thought about them long and hard.  The song basically says what I believe.  It’s the little daily things that we need to realize are the true blessings in our lives.

You know I like my chicken fried, Cold beer on a Friday night, A pair of jeans that fit just right, and the radio up.  And it’s funny how it`s the little things in life that mean the most, not where you live what you drive or the price tag on your clothes.  There`s no dollar sign on a piece of mind; this I’ve come to know. 

I thank god for my life, and for the stars and stripes, may freedom forever fly – let it ring. Salute the ones who died, and the ones that gave their lives, so we don`t have to sacrifice all the things we love!

So if you agree have a drink with me, Raise your glasses for a toast to a little bit of chicken fried!

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Blessings and Concerns!

Its day two after starting the new meds. I only have to take two pills a week, so there isn’t much to report. The next one will be on Saturday. I will say I have lost three pounds since I weighed on Wednesday. It could be normal fluctuation, or not. The nausea is all gone and I feel pretty good today. I took it easy today and laid around. I was able to knock a few things off my to-do list. I was so excited to get my vacuum back from Michigan. The one I have been using was really crappy. I was finally able to use it and was excited that I know the carpet is clean now. Tomorrow I will steam mop the linoleum and finish the house. Who would have thought the blessing I counted today would be a vacuum?

I’m getting very concerned about the BP oil spill here in the Gulf of Mexico. It hasn’t reached the beaches where I live, but if something isn’t done soon, I can’t even imagine the long term ramifications to the ecosystem as well as the economy. Every day I turn on the TV and feel like there is nothing new being done. I am glad that Charlie Crist is out there keeping an eye on things for Florida. It is so sad that the beautiful beaches in all the states are being destroyed. I read today that the methane from the spill is creating a massive dead zone! I hope they get this thing under control SOON!
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
T-

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Inspiration!

  • See the goodness that is in the world, despite the suffering. Give yourself every chance to experience your positive connection to the experiences and reality of other people.
  • Experience how awesome nature is, even when it can also be indifferent.
  • Do things for the sheer joy: singing, walking, gardening, and eating with friends.
  • Cultivate freshness. Open to wonder and awe.  That involves internal permission and mindfulness in a deep way: “pausing”, looking and receiving (taking something in through your senses) is the place to start.
  • Tune in to something greater than yourself: meditate, sing, pray, trust, love. Let yourself experience that you are part of a wondrous universe.

    Made by God

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